I'm not sure if any of you have heard of the Steubenville case, it's been all over the news recently...
I just wanted to talk about how there's always two sides to every story, and there's definitely always two exaggerated believers on either side. I want to share my point of view on this.
To our left is the disturbing photo of the Steubenville rape case :/ I linked the most detailed article I found if you'd like to read more on that.
How do you deal with these situations? Do you take a side and speak out about it? Do you take a side, but keep to yourself? Or do you stay neutral and just watch on the sidelines?
I, personally, try to stay neutral as often as possible. I like to hear both sides of the stories and stick with both. I may speak out about one side or the other from time to time if I feel like they are being defended or attacked wrongly. For example, with the Steubenville rape case, most medias talked about how these two boy's had "promising futures" and now it's ruined because they were convicted wrongly. People hear this and either agree or disagree. The people that agree, talk about how the girl was underage drinking. This is when I speak out and say, they all were underage drinking, first off, and secondly she may have been drugged. Here's the thing, we don't really know for sure. And I feel like those people that speak out without knowing all the facts, or without really being there during the situation, shouldn't really speak out at all. If you see all the twitter posts and pictures posted on the night of the party, you'll see things said like "People deserve to be peed on" or "Tonight's song is 'Rape Me' by Nirvana" and there's also a video of someone talking about how "raped" she was... If the girl's drinking was really a problem, she would've passed out like she did and been left on the floor and that's that. Instead, they picked her up and took advantage of her. Now, at the same time, why did she even go to this party in the first place? Her ex-boyfriend was there, apparently none of these other girls really had her back because many of them threatened her after the conviction over twitter, and she didn't even go to the school. She lied to mom and said she was going to a sleep over... Lesson learned: Don't lie to your parents. Underage drinking was definitely a problem, as was lying and just being outright ignorant... But taking advantage of a human being like that was the worst part of the night. And the people around didn't do anything to help. Everyone is at fault: the people that hosted the party, the boys who were convicted, every underage drinker, and the people who watched and did nothing but take pictures and videos.
So my whole point is this: Learn your facts, find out all the details... Like actually do your research, before you go out and start attacking someone about it. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but we are not above the law. WE put the law there, we choose who we put in there and what laws should be passed or not... So we should just respect the decisions, even if we think they're completely wrong.
I'm going to put this into a more personal perspective now. The reason I've been talking about this and thinking about it, is because I've been going through something pretty similar. I have been wronged, many times, and no one's been "convicted" except me... I've been convicted for my reactions to their wrongs. I try to see the best in everyone and I just cannot handle when someone turns around and stabs me in the back. I can't comprehend how anyone can do any harm to another human being. However, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because in this confusion and rage I've harmed a lot of people too. Thing is, I apologize, and I feel guilt and remorse. They feel nothing. And I don't mean to hurt anyone, they do. They've hurt me so much, so badly... And I've never received an apology or an explanation. But I have people come up to me and tell me how bad of a daughter or family member I am, and tell me that I need to treat them better.
How about I start being treated better and they'll start to notice that I really try to be the best person I can be on a daily basis and I really try to do everything I can for them, and I've been doing so my whole life... They can't see this when their vision is clouded by whatever they're thinking or dealing with in their heads.
And what upsets me the most is that I try to find help, and they push me farther back every day. But when they need it, they get it right away. Whether it's buying something or receiving services or fixing something... It's instant for them. I am 19 years old now, and I have been looking for help since I was 13 years old. And I've found it, but they don't want to help me get it. So I have to look for something else, or figure it out on my own. And that's another thing: No one understand how alone I am when dealing with life issues. I am constantly figuring everything out on my own. People want me to be a girly-girl, but they don't understand that I was never taught how to put eyeliner or make up on or how to straighten my hair. People expect me to "be an adult" but then they turn around and drop me on the street and expect me to get up on my own. I still haven't finished college, I don't have a career or my own resources. Yet, I have to feed myself, or find someone who's willing to feed me, I have to find my own transportation, find my own home, and all while finding a way to go to school and start my actual and working three jobs to manage paying all of that in the long run... At 19 years old, with two healthy middle-class parents that can afford everything except me.
Don't come to me, bitching about how bad of a person I am. I've spent all my life being brought down and having a hard time with practically everything I've tried to do. I don't need your one-sided opinion. Hear both side of the stories, please. Hear me out first before you judge me. Get to know me and my life better. Or better said: See me and be with me for more than those 5 minutes you give yourself to insult and degrade me in public. And this goes for multiple people unfortunately.
I'm not going to let anyone else bring me down. I'm done. I've realize that there's people that want to see me grow and do well in life. Kind people. Loving people. LifeKraze people. And I need to surround myself with those people. I wish my family were those people, but I'm glad I have my grandma and my boyfriend's family at least. I wouldn't ask for anything else. I really appreciate all the people I have in my life right now, and I'm ready to get rid of all the negative people I've been dealing with. "Courage to change the things I can..." and I think I finally was granted that piece of Serenity.
Love you all.
Kat <3
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