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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Rough Patch & A Tattoo

I've come back from the dead!!!

No, just kidding. In all honesty, it's been a rough week & month in general.

A lot has happened since I wrote my last blog post, and I have so much to catch up on aside from blogging.

I don't want to get into my problems right now though, because I have one big life event I want to talk about: My Tattoo :)

I've been planning this tattoo out for years, and it has a lot to do with my game, Serenity Online. It's all been worked on together, and both have similar meaning.

It was an extremely spontaneous decision to get a tattoo this past Sunday, but I've been starting to realize that it was at the best time.

What happened was this: I went to Miami Beach with my boyfriend, Alvaro, and our best friend, Priscilla. We spent some time on the beach, and got suuuper hungry. So we walked suuuper far to eat Five Guys, which wasn't really that good in the end.

We started walking back a different way and came across Miami Ink. Walked in. I asked about white ink tattoos because that's what I've been planning for a while. They don't do white ink. Okay. We walk out, and keep walking. We spot a tattoo shop across the street, and decide to check it out. 

This artist we met, Dru, was perfect. He does white ink tattoos. He showed us his portfolio and he specializes in typography. And he was so patient with me, because in all this spontaneous "let's get tattoos" thing, I got super anxious.

First off, I wasn't sure I was ready to get another tattoo. Second, I did NOT want my boyfriend to get a tattoo. And third, the plan was to get matching Sun tattoos. 

I had an issue with this because I was thinking... What if we don't stay friends forever? Shit happens, and it's happened to me with a lot of people so I was feeling very insecure about getting something so permanent. If I had done that with any of the people I've known in the past that have promised to be my friend "forever" then I'd have a lot of regrets tattooed onto my body right now. So I was definitely very anxious.

In the end, Priscilla didn't get a tattoo, I got the tattoo I had been planning out and I FAINTED during it (very weird experience), and Alvaro got a sun tattoo that, if he's reading this, I LOVE.

I would like to apologize to Alvaro, because I was honestly not a huge fan of his tattoo at first. I guess it was shock. And it may also be the fact that he did it on a sunburn and it was really hard watching him be in pain like that. But if he likes it, then I like it. And it does look really good. Dru did a great job on it. So yeah, I'm sorry Alvaro. I do love your tattoo <3

Anyways, here's a picture of my tattoo, and I'm going to explain the meaning:

It says "Serenity" with a semi-colon at the end, and a sun coming out of the "s".

Serenity has a lot to do with the Serenity Prayer. It also has to do with me finding my own inner peace. I have never been happy with myself or any part of my life, and I've been struggling to accept the things I cannot change or have the courage to change the things I can. Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

I need to learn to do this, and Serenity is my reminder. 

The semi-colon has two meanings. For those who don't know me well, I tell them that it stands for computer programming. I have one dream and hobby tattooed already, which is music. Computer has always been a part of my life and something I would love to do in the future along with music.

But in all honesty, the semi-colon has a deeper meaning that I'll explain through pictures. All of these pictures were found on Instagram and are not mine, but I share the same experiences with them.

My other and just as awesome best friend, Pier, told me about this semi-colon project last week, on a day that I was feeling pretty bad and close to self-harm. I'm really glad I was able to incorporate it into my tattoo, along with the sun. There's always another day. There's light in everything, I just have to open my eyes and see it. A new day, a new light. New wisdom. New happenings. Better happenings.

I mentioned getting this tattoo being a weird experience. Mainly because, as I was planning the whole tattoo and such, a guy walked in asking to have a semi-colon tattoo also. And he asked me my meaning of it, I told him. And he left. It was just random and unexpected and coincidental for our tattoo artist. Also, for me fainting, another girl had fainted earlier on in the day. Dru and another tattoo artist were joking around that a grim reaper had entered the shop! And they were talking about all the coincidences that day. It was just really eccentric. I had to lay down for the rest of the tattoo though, it hurt pretty bad. And I have to get a touch-up this coming Sunday, so I'm a bit nervous for that.

So that's my tattoo in a nutshell. There's probably still a lot more meaning into it than I'm explaining, but that's for me to think of every time I look at my tattoo, for whatever is happening and at whatever moment. I just love that my tattoo can comfort me through anything and remind me of things that for some reason don't come to mind immediately. And I hope one day my mind and thoughts are filled with positivity thanks to my constant reminder. I hope positivity becomes a habit and drowns out the negativity :)

Love you all,

Kat <3


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