I've pretty much had very bad experiences with therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc.
I don't need someone to "diagnose" me. Or better said, I don't need anyone labeling me. I am ME. That's all.
And I definitely don't need any pills to make me happy, or more focused.
What I need is someone that can talk and listen enough to help me in my rough patches. And I finally found that person.
The first appointment was my own therapist, and it went great as usual. This guy has been really helping me out, mentally, physically, and in all aspects of my life.
The second appointment was my mom's therapist. I was going so that they can have my input so her therapist can help her with decisions and such.
The whole time, all I did was listen to the therapist talk about herself.
The only piece of advice that she gave me was to get my associates degree. Great, thanks.
And then she ended the session by bashing on my current therapist.
Yeah, like this therapist herself said, it's definitely a "hit or miss" when it comes to therapists. And as always, all the therapists chosen by my mom have been definite misses. At least this therapist was an extremely kind person.
I went there to give my input about my mom, and that did not get accomplished at all. Which is actually why I left my last therapist.
We would talk and talk and talk, and nothing would get accomplished.
So if you're having trouble finding a good therapist, I would recommend searching for these key aspects:
- American Association of Drugless Practitioners (AADP) - You will learn (either the easy way or hard way) to LOVE this association. Go to practitioners that swear by this, trust me.
- Holistic Health - These people are more open minded about the world and the body and the self. They'll be more open to your so-called "craziness" than, let's say, Christian therapists. I'm not going to therapy to be judged. I'm there to express myself fully and get the feedback I need to better myself. Nothing against Christians at all, I am one, but Christian Therapists tend to have a one-track mind and usually people with mental disorders need open-minded people to help them through their troubles. Just an opinion so don't take anything offensively or personal please <3
- Personal Connection - You need to meet this person at least once in person before paying for your therapy, and really get a feel for them in a normal conversation. If you can't connect, or you don't feel comfortable, or something just doesn't feel 'right' to you, then find someone else.
- PRIVATE & Professional- If they don't explain to you that they have to keep everything you say to them private unless you're going to hurt someone or yourself (this is all legal stuff really), then they're not good at all. Like run out. They're probably spilling your secrets right now. It's important that you sign proper consent forms, agreements, contracts, whatever is needed to have this understood by both parties. It's really a common sense thing, and I didn't even notice that I didn't do that today with my mom's therapist. I definitely do not feel comfortable anymore.
- Body & Mind - This is a bonus, but if you can find a therapist that also knows a lot about the body, nutrition, and medical things then that's definitely awesome! I've gotten so many medical explanations of things going wrong in my body that link to my mental health... My therapist has solved more physical ailments in 2 sessions than my pediatrician ever did in my 19 years growing up. Your body and mind are connected, so it's great to know how to deal with both sides of things.
- Empathy & Compassion - If they're there to just get the money, that's not good obviously. I'm not saying to make sure this therapist gets emotionally attached, but if they sit there completely unphased when you're talking about how someone once beat the crap out of you........ Then I think there's a problem there. There should be some kind of human reaction, ya know? A wide-eyed stare, or a "wow, I'm sorry" type thing. But if they sit there neutral, or even change the subject... Like yeah, just get out of there.
This has turned out to be a bigger list than I expected, but I am just so upset that this lady would dare bash my current therapist, who has helped more than anyone else.
Everyone has faults, and not one therapist is perfect... But I found the ONE person that is good enough for me, and I'm not going to let money or other people tell me otherwise. I know it's a lot of money, (I basically work to go to therapy paycheck by paycheck), but it's an investment on my life and my future. I know I need to get better, I'm in the right mindset to do so, and I've officially found the people to help me. I'm going to stick with it and I'm going to grow into someone who's finally truly happy with herself and life. That's what the end result of therapy should be: acceptance of yourself and your position in life, and gaining the abilities and mentality to adapt and deal with the situations that life throws at you. That's what people don't understand. You're not there to socialize, or even to be told what to do. You're there for a new outlook on life, a new perspective. And you're there for tools. Tools on dealing with your body and your mind and the outside world. And if you don't start getting your first set of tools after your second visit, then you're in the wrong toolbox.
Hope this helps anyone and everyone dealing with this. I know how frustrating it can be at times.
Love you all.